Today the Church celebrates the Feast of the Holy Family. So, what does that mean to (and for) us as monastics? We came from a family, we still have families and here we live in an intentional family we call community. We are guided by the simple, yet profound, guidelines designed by St. Benedict, a man of great wisdom, compassion and common sense. We know that after some time of living with his original Rule, he added advice based on his lived experience with a great variety of characters. Imagine having to warn his men not to sleep with knives, to wear clean underwear on a trip, for the learned to help those who could not read. His prudence shines through when, in so many words, he says: this is what works for us now – if the schedule of psalmody, the daily schedule and other daily living details don’t fit your need, change it.
It is the spirit of the Rule that has survived because Benedict, even in his youth, had a deep understanding of human psychology. A study of his early life tells us that he spent much time with his grandparents who lived a few miles from his home. Along the trek to their summer home he passed the huts and caves of hermits, wise “seasoned” men and women. Before Benedict was sent to Rome to pursue academics, he and his twin sister spent hours chit-chatting with these solitary men and women to absorb the wisdom and practical advice from the older generation. This is evident in the Rule. Notice how he tempered discipline with compassion and saw the spiritual quest as a joyful pursuit of God within the structures of ordinary life. It is this joyous delight in everyday spirituality that to this day makes the Rule come alive for so many. For over 1500 years his simple principles of living together under God’s love have been applied beyond monasteries, especially by Oblates, to family life.
If we only know the first word of the Rule “LISTEN” what an impact it could make on our own happiness and concord between peoples. To truly listen requires perception, knowledge of human nature, biting the tongue before speaking and an ‘open-hands’ approach in conversation. To listen requires an attentive spirit … not a scramble to respond with advice, a witty remark or a one-upmanship story. When we truly listen we can see that anger is a cover for fear. When we listen to another we can identify their feelings, let them resonant within and know that very often all the person wants is a signal that we care.
Benedict’s down-to-earth advice works in community, in our intentional family or for any living group, be it for family or dorm or apartment mates because of its inner dynamic. St. Benedict was not writing for an IB or Honors class of students. The Rule is not intended to be a great and lofty treatise on prayer or spirituality. Rather, the Rule is filled with practical guidance for ordinary people to live together. Benedict expected his followers to work hard, study hard and pray hard. Benedictine life, in or out of a monastery, is a grace-full blend of prayer, work and living together – a simple, effective prayer life, open communication, mutual respect – not for mature saints but for those who choose to walk a path of life-long falling down and getting up in a community where each member is valued and loved unconditionally.
The Rule offers us a very high ideal, but it is a beautiful one, and one that we should never feel compelled to apologize for. And when we breach the ideal we need to be humble enough to ask forgiveness both from God and from each other.
From that first word in his Rule LISTEN… to his advice to begin every good work with prayer … to keeping a lamp burning at night … to not loitering outside chapel if you are late … it is evident that Benedict saw God at work within the ordinary events of everyday life – in the joys and sorrows of our everyday lives.
So, LISTEN to your heart to your comrades’ hungers and longings, to God deep in your heart … just LISTEN – with your ears, but also with eyes and heart and feelings – and all other aspects of your life, our life in community, will fall into place.
~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB
Happy New Year! Peace to all!
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