Benedictine Sisters of FL

Holy Name Monastery
Founded 1889

humble

Humble Yourself the More, the Greater You Are

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Yesterday’s reading from Sirach addresses us thus: “My child, conduct your affairs with humility.  Humble yourself the more, the greater you are. And you will find favor with God.”  So, how can one develop humility without becoming proud of how humble you are?

In practical everyday terms how can we recognize this amazing quality of humility?  How can you develop this wonderful trait?  We know we can quickly spot what it is NOT.  It is not judgmental, does not have room for vanity.  The one who is humble is not self-consumed, is not a door mat, is not rough with others but treasures and respects the value of all persons.

Benedict, in the Prologue and opening chapters of the Rule, prescribes humility as an essential quality of monastics in community.  He speaks of the necessity for humility for the superior and sub-prioress, the artisans, the cellarer, the readers, visiting clerics and relationships with each other in community.  He helps us recognize the role of humility in perfect love when we make satisfaction for mistakes, for broken dishes and tools, in our acceptance of what the cook offers and what the superior supplies for the members, when we consciously blend voices with others in communal prayer and graciously receive guests who share our monastic space.

Let’s look at three proven hindrances to growth in humility.

PRIDE – which focuses on self rather than others.  Listen to yourself.  How often do you start a conversation with “I”?

INSECURITY and/or OVER-CONFIDENCE – Both are forms of unhealthy self-centeredness and oppose humility because these people spend too much time “navel gazing” – examining themselves. Can you graciously digest criticism and suggestions without scrambling to justify your action or point a finger at what someone else did?  Do you smile and accept a compliment without downplaying its value with a comment like: “This old dress?  I got it long ago at Daystar.” or “Oh, it was nothing. There’s an app that does all the work.”   “The project turned out OK but it wasn’t my best.”

SELFISHNESS – As long as you focus exclusively on your own perceived personal needs and desires – forget the idea of humility – it will only be a distant dream.  Remember Benedict’s advice: “Pursue what you judge better for someone else, love humbly and prefer nothing whatever to Christ.”

The practice of humility begins in little everyday ways:

+  The words we speak: no boasting, bragging or pushing your opinion down others’ throats.

+ The way you treat others: not looking for choice places at table or seeking to rub shoulders with only the rich and famous but treating each person as one of value.

+ How you treat yourself. The humble person values herself and her abilities.  She does not spoil herself, is not self-centered; refrains from superficial behavior, is not obsessed with her appearance, her likes and dislikes, her opinions or material possessions.

What begins as a single humble act multiplies, and becomes a life-long, positive habit that impacts not only your own life, but the lives of those around you.

So, in real life what does humility look like?

  • Humble people handle challenging situations with a sense of peace because they RESPOND rather than REACT to life’s challenges.
  • The humble person focuses on service to others and not her own problems, weaknesses, health or likes and dislikes.
  • Humble people are good at networking because they attract others by making them feel comfortable, wanted and valued.
  • Humble people are wise because they listen well, do not speak impulsively and value what words they do share.
  • Humble persons are perceived as trustworthy because their goals are not self-motivated.
  • Humble persons create loyalty because they take pleasure in the successes of others.

It goes without saying that practice of humility requires sacrificing pride and moving out of your “comfort zone.”  It takes a complete a turn-around from self-centeredness.  Humility is not popular in today’s world so dare to be different.  The benefits are worth any cost: healthier relationships, mutual respect, wisdom and a quiet peace.

 

~by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB

 

First Reading  Sirach 3:17-18, 20, 28-29      
Second Reading  Hebrews 12:18-19;22-24
Gospel Reading  Luke 14: 1, 7-14
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Two Cents

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two centsI would venture to say that most hearers or readers think that this Gospel passage is only about the widow or about how honorable the poor are for being generous.  If we do, we’re missing the point.   Of course we cannot simply look at the story of the widow: (having lost her spouse – possibly at a young age given men’s’ life expectancy then – she might have had no children; now she’s considered a burden to both her parents and her in-laws.

Jesus commended her giving, in contrast to that of the scribes, because she gave everything she had! She could have kept one of those coins for herself, but she willingly gave everything she had to Jesus.  That widow could never have known what her gift would accomplish. She walked into the Temple, ignored by the rich, the religious and those caught up in the celebrity worship of the day. She walked in with her little gift and she gave it without fanfare – no trumpet blare, no applause. Everything that poor woman had earned for her own needs was given willingly to the Lord. She is an example of extravagant giving!

The rich gave, too.  Some came in with great fanfare, standing back and tossing in their gift for the greatest effect. Others gave with a frown on their face, holding onto their coins as tightly as they could to the very last second. Others probably stopped to make sure that everyone was watching them as they gave their offerings. They wanted to be recognized, honored and in control – they wanted a say in everything.  People like that are dangerous, divisive people! They are religious fools.

They received their applause and they walked proudly away. This poor widow gave her “two cents” and walked away, but her gift is still giving today. How many people have been challenged to go ahead and give their little because of this woman’s example?

Why would she bother to give such an insignificant gift? Her two cents among the thousands of dollars given by the wealthy seems so small. Why bother? This little lady is everything the religious scribes and the rich hypocrites were not. Why would she bother to give such an insignificant gift?

It’s her attitude that speaks volumes: humble, unassuming, unpretentious.   One’s attitude makes all the difference.  How we give is far more important than what we give!  Reminds me of a definition I heard many moon ago of the difference between cooperation and collaboration.  Cooperation is when all the stakeholders put their money on the table; collaboration happens when they put their hands in their laps.

In her quiet giving she was preaching a powerful sermon. Hear her as she humbly explains:

  • I give because God loves me and I love in return
  • I give because I trust God
  • I give because God has given to me

Three other lessons we might glean:

  • God will do great things with our small offerings –We do not know what any others giver put in the basket that week in the temple. But, after over 2,000 years the tiny gift of that widow has been multiplied into untold billions as people have been motivated to give out of their own poverty.
  • The Lord will settle His accounts one day – The scribes and the wealthy men there that day had their reward then and there – they blew their own trumpets – they got public attention and admiration. This widow will receive hers later! Do what you do for God – just keep it simple and silent.  Be honest: have you ever taken credit for a gift NOT given … failed to contribute to a collection (like we do for Daystar, the Heritage Christmas or AIM) but smiled as if you had contributed when the community is praised for its generosity?
  • God does not want our money; He wants us – He wants our love and our devotion and when He has that, He has everything else that we possess. When God has us, He has our pocketbooks.

So, in summary, the important lesson we might take from this story is: that real giving is sacrificial and reckless.  How much of your personal monthly allowance do you dedicate to doing good for someone else?  Do you contribute at the end of the month if you have something left over?  Or do you automatically designate 10% of your allowance to a cause each month?

If you remember nothing else, remember this: the attitude of your heart in giving makes all the difference.  How we give is far more important than what we give!

                                                                                                                Reflection by S. Roberta Bailey, OSB, Prioress
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29th Sunday in Ordinary Time

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humilityFirst Reading  Isaiah 53:10-11   Second Reading Hebrews 4:14-16
Gospel    Mark 10:35-45 (shorter form Mark 10:42-45)

Often, it is said, when looking for a job it is not what you know but whom you know that counts most.  In China, people often speak of guanxi, ” (guan-shee) connections” with people in the right places.

Today we see two brothers, who belong to the innermost circle of Jesus’ disciples, trying to exert their guanxi.   But listen to Jesus: the last be shall first and the first shall be last.”  He reminds us that the way to heaven is not in sitting on thrones, living in fine houses, driving luxury cars, having the latest tech gadgets or having holidays in exotic places.  Greatness consists not in what we have, or what we can get from others but in what we can give of ourselves to others.

Jesus asks us: Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?  These two brothers, in their eager ignorance, answer without hesitation:: “No problem!”

For us as Benedictines – in Benedict’s view, we are all called to cultivate a humble awareness of our place in creation.  Being humble brings the realization that we are capable of making gods of the very things that should be serving and enriching our lives.  It requires a humble trust in God’s providence.  For St. Benedict, everything a monastic does must be done for the glory of God – that is why we were created.  Remember your Baltimore catechism:  we were made to know, love and serve God.  A fifth century monk says it well: A proud monk needs no demon. He has turned into one, an enemy to himself.

In our own lifetime, Mother Teresa gives us a few ways to practice humility that sound much like Benedict’s steps of humility:

To speak as little as possible of one’s self.

To mind one’s own business.

Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one’s dignity.

To choose always the hardest.

 

This Prayer for Humility by an Anonymous Abbess is worth pondering line by line…:

Lord, you know better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.

Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples’ affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou know, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.

Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains — they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask you for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn’t agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint — it is so hard to live with some of them — but a harsh old person is one of the devil’s masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.    AMEN

Just remember, as an ancient monk said: “When we become aware of our humility, we’ve lost it.”

                                                                                                                                        Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB

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25th Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Mark-9_35Jesus and his disciples enter a private home. Jesus asks his disciples about the argument they had while they were journeying.  Their arguing about who is the greatest is on one level amusing.  Jesus asks them, “What were you arguing about on the way?” And they are like children who don’t want to tell their parents what they’re talking about.  Or adults, when there is dead silence when the principal or prioress enters the room.  I think Mark is amused.  Jesus doesn’t push for an answer.  He won’t publically humiliated or embarrass them.  Instead He calls forward a child.

Jesus could have just told taught them his lesson. Why did He use a child?    Well, remember in first-century Palestine, children were without status or power, possessing no legal rights.  They were viewed as mere property and largely ignored by most adults. Secondly, Jesus used a child to teach about service because children really can’t do anything for adults.  A child can’t make you more important in the eyes of the world. However, a child can teach you much about ministry!

Think about it, every parent (or older sibling) knows what happens when there’s a new baby in the house. That child demands everything! From day one it must be served, every need must be met by a willing adult. Children take constant care and attention. If they are ignored, they let you know all about in loud and irritating fashion.   Children teach us what giving and service are all about.   And the giving does not stop …  often into adulthood.

Jesus used a child but notice that he does not say “receive this child.”  Rather He says: Receive one such as this.”  Children need to be served, but they cannot serve us in return. That is a lesson we all need to take to heart. Too often, we only serve those who can do something in return for us. Jesus would have us reach out to those who are the neediest. He would have us serve those who cannot, or will not, serve us in return. He directs us to do as He did and give our all for those who may break our hearts in return.

So, this leads to question: Who are the people without power or status in our society? Do we serve them willingly? Jesus teaches that God’s judgment of us will be based on this criterion alone.

We see this no better portrayed than in the upper room with Jesus’ washing the disciple’s feet even as he offers the new covenant meal, and later hanging on the cross, offering himself.

At the deepest level Jesus’ idea of service — humble servanthood — reminds us that none of this is about us!  It’s not about our ego. It’s not about how much we give, how much we work, how many hours we minister, whose ministry is more important. It’s not about our wants and needs, or what we think others must do for us.

Service, instead, is about absorbing the sufferings of world by sharing our life — our time, our resources and our gifts. It’s building-up the other so that she in turn is built up to be Christ to others.

 Jesus asked his disciples:  “What were you arguing about on the road?” This is another key word: ‘road’. Every time we travel with Jesus they are “on the road”. Because Jesus himself is the Road: he is the Way, the Truth and the Life. We are being asked what we are doing while on the Way.   The disciples refused to answer and kept silent. They were ashamed. It was not the kind of talk suited to people on the Way. They had been arguing about which of them was the greatest; who would become the leader of their group if Jesus’ prediction of death proved true?  They could hardly say, “Well, since you are going to be killed in the near future, we were wondering which of us should take over.”

With a child in his arms, Jesus says, that to accept, to welcome persons such as this little one, is to welcome him. To be concerned about the wellbeing of another person, oblivious to the cost – putting the focus on the other rather than on what serves one’s own self.   Benedict captures this sentiment in RB chapter 72, in quoting the Letter to the Romans:

Anticipate one another in honor,  vie in paying obedience one to another – no one following what she considers useful for herself, but rather what benefits another…

What had caused the disciples to even begin thinking along the line of who Jesus’ successor would be?  Could it have had something to do with the fact that Jesus had chosen only three of them, Peter, James and John to go with Him up the mountain?  As they walk, they talked and the brewing question just sort of came up.  The three had been elated when they came down the mountain.  But, they had been admonished by Jesus not to talk about what they had seen or heard.  The nine felt left out.  When they were talking among themselves the issue seemed important. But, when they stood before Jesus, they suddenly saw how silly, immature, arrogant and self-centered they had been. He was talking about the matters of eternity.    And, all they could do was fight about who should be first!

When this life is over and we are before God; all of our petty, silly striving to be first will be seen to be as childish. Would you rather stand before Him in embarrassment because you wanted to be first? Or, would you rather stand there and hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant: you have been faithful over a few things.. enter thou into the joy of you Father.”   The choice is ours.

 

                                                                                                          Mass Reflection by S. Roberta Bailey, OSB, Prioress

 

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