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comfort zone

Don’t Stay In Your Comfort Zone

September 1, 2025 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

The advice in this Gospel is for us whether we are the guest or the hostess.  But it is not simply suggestions about etiquette. Something more is going on here. What Jesus advocates is not only for social occasions, but it’s meant to shape the entirety of our lives.

Jesus is advising us against staying in in our comfort zone. Rather than limiting our guest list to people who are clones of ourselves, people with whom we’re comfortable, who don’t threaten or even challenge us, Jesus encourages us to instead invite those who are different, people who make us uncomfortable, but whose difference from us may bring with it a blessing.

Repeatedly Jesus takes the low seat and invites unlikely types to be his guests.  Those who come to his banquet make it through the narrow door because they claim no merit of their own.  Jesus leaves the comfort zone of his place by his Father to come to earth as a tiny, helpless child. He leaves the comfort zone of earthly life, and allows himself to be placed in a narrow grave.

How can we move out of our comfort zone?

+   Develop a deeper spirituality,

+   Engage in service, – sit next to a stranger or a person you recognize but    want to know better.  It could even be a person you’ve lived with for years but who still feels like a stranger.

+   Help others on their spiritual journey – it’s amazing how you will change,
+   Keep saying “no” to the ways of the world and “yes” to the ways of God.

Jesus asks us that we do him the honor of keeping ourselves, our religion, our community from becoming trapped in some comfort zone.  For us in this Benedictine community, with the move to a new monastery in 2014 and all that involved choosing what to keep and what to divest ourselves of in gifts others was a daily reality.  We place great trust in God to guide us as we refuse to linger very long in any comfort zone, moving always past safety to encounter unexpected challenges to follow the crucified and risen One. This is what it means to live the life of faith – a life on the ladder of humility as described in the Rule of Benedict …  living in reverence and deference to others.

As Perpetual Adoration Benedictine Sister Mary Jane Romero puts it:  As a sister grows in humility, she is transformed interiorly, and it overflows into her exterior behavior.  She possesses a dignity that expresses her reverent attitude toward God, her sisters, and all of life.

Joan Chittister says it this way: Humility and contemplation are the invisible twins of the spiritual life.  (I like the symbol of twins … perhaps inspired by the image of Benedict and his twin sister.)  She continues: One without the other is impossible.  In the first place, there is no such thing as a contemplative life without the humility that takes us beyond the myth of our own grandeur to the cosmic grandeur of God.   Humility enables me to stand before the world in awe, to receive its gifts and to learn from its lessons.  But to be humble is not to be diminished.  Indeed, humility and humiliations are not the same thing.  Humility is the ability to recognize my right place in the universe, both dust and glory; God’s glory, indeed, but dust, nevertheless.  Being realistic about the self, the mind is free to become full of God.

Or consider this from Eugene Boylan in his book THIS TREMENDOUS LOVER: In the practice of humility, it is a very sound principle never to display a humility that is not sincere.  (Recall what Benedict directs: strive not to be called holy; rather, be holy.)  Frequent meditation on the Passion will bring us more quickly to humility than anything else, and while humility is dependent upon true self-knowledge, such knowledge is better obtained by studying what God is, than what we ourselves are.

A final thought …Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows.

~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB

 

 

 

 

First Reading:   Sirach 3:17-18,20,28-29         Second Reading:  Hebrews 12:18-19,22-24
Gospel:   Luke 14:1,7-14
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Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Homily Tagged With: comfort zone, don't stay in your comfort zone, Gospel, humility, Jesus, Joan Chittister

Is it Time to Leave the Comfort Zone

September 3, 2019 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

There is a term popular today that seems to me to fit with this message of Jesus.  The term is “comfort zone” which refers to those situations in which the person feels comfortable, safe, free from threat and challenge.  The comfort zone is, for the person involved, a thoroughly comfortable place.  Life there is marked by ease and familiarity.

It’s natural to like one’s comfort zone, but most of us would admit that we should not remain there indefinitely.  People do not become better or more mature or holier lingering in their comfort zone.  That just doesn’t happen.

In the first part of this Gospel, Jesus cautions against sitting in the place of honor at a wedding banquet and advises taking the lowest place instead.  But it is not simply a suggestion about etiquette.  Something more is going on here.  What Jesus advocates is not only for social occasions, but it’s meant to shape the entirety of our lives.

Choosing the seat of honor for ourselves is choosing the seat in our “comfort zone” – where we will be comfortable, safe, and free from the threat of interacting with strangers.  Jesus cautions us against moving into a comfort zone all on our own as though we know what we’re doing, as though it’s something we need to do.

In the second part of the Gospel, he urges us to invite the crippled, lame, and blind when we give a luncheon or dinner, rather than friends, relatives, and rich people.

So there’s advice here for us whether we’re the guest or the ones hosting an event.  Picture entering the banquet hall at our annual Gala.  Do you gravitate toward a familiar face or approach a table of “new friends” you’ve just never met before.  Do we sit in “us vs them” clumps?”  Do we do what Jesus says – ensure that our guest list includes those who are different, people who may make us uncomfortable, but whose difference from us may bring us a blessing?  This is what I think is so significant about our Thanksgiving Day dinner.  We open our door, our hearts and our table expecting nothing in return.  The blessing of being in a position to share is its own reward.

Jesus not only teaches us this lesson of stretching our comfort zone, he demonstrates it.  His entire life, his public ministry, his passion and resurrection, is full of one episode after another of his expanding what could have become his comfort zone.  Repeatedly, Jesus takes the low seat and invites unlikely types to be his guests.

Jesus left the comfort zone of his place by his Father to come to earth as a tiny, helpless infant.  Finally, he took the worst seat of all––on the cross.  He left the comfort zone of his earthly life, allowed himself to be placed in a narrow grave in order to experience ever-expanding resurrected life.  Jesus left the comfort zone within his family and friends on earth to become ever-present to all of us – to each one – at our beck and call.

Every day we encounter situations that place us outside our comfort zone – that stretch us to new territory in welcoming the “stranger” – persons or experiences.  Just be on guard against the inevitable danger that this place will soon become our new comfort zone.

I am reminded of the words of a hymn found in our Journey hymnals: “Now As We Gather” ….     “Now as we gather, God’s chosen people … there are no strangers in this holy place.”  When the stranger becomes friend, we must search out other strangers to befriend.

In this Gospel and in a hundred other ways, Jesus asks us that we do him the honor of keeping ourselves, our religion, our community from becoming trapped in some comfort zone.  This is what it means to live the life of faith – a life on the ladder of humility as described in the Rule of Benedict …  living in reverence and deference to others.

~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB, Prioress
First Reading  Sirach 3:17-18,20,28-29     Second Reading   Hebrews 12:18-19,22-24
Gospel Reading   Luke 14:1,7-14   
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Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Homily Tagged With: comfort zone, comfortable, ease, familiarity, free safe, God, Gospel, Jesus, Rule of Benedict

Comfort Zone

August 29, 2016 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

comfort zoneFirst Reading  Sirach 3:17-18,20,28-29     Second Reading   Hebrews 12:18-19,22-24
Gospel Reading   Luke 14:1,7-14      Intention End to terrorism

There is a term popular today that seems to me to fit with this message of Jesus. The term is “comfort zone” which refers to those situations in which the person feels comfortable, safe, and free from threat or even challenge. The comfort zone is, for the person involved, a thoroughly comfortable place. Life there is marked by ease and familiarity.

It’s natural to like one’s comfort zone, but most of us would admit that we should not remain there indefinitely. People do not become better or more mature or holier lingering in their comfort zone. That just doesn’t happen.

This, I think, appears to be a modern term for what concerns Jesus in today’s Gospel. The passage divides easily into two parts.

In the first part, Jesus cautions against sitting in the place of honor at a wedding banquet and advises taking the lowest place instead.

In the second part, he urges us to invite the crippled, lame, and blind when we give a luncheon or dinner, rather than friends, relatives, and rich people.

So there’s advice here for us when we’re the guest as well as when we are the ones hosting an event.  But it is about more than proper banquet etiquette.  Choosing the seat of honor for ourselves sounds a lot like craving our comfort zone. The best seat is the one where we feel comfortable: accepted, safe, free from threat, challenge or embarrassment or any sense of awkwardness.

Sharing a community meal, sitting at table should be less about power and all about sharing the joy of being together.   Even our legends acknowledge the power of a choice seat like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Sitting at a round table came to symbolize equality… because there was no head of the table. All had an equal seat and an equal say. Where you choose to sit matters. It matters in the way people perceive you and in the way you act in different environments.

Jesus challenges us against staying in our comfort zone. Rather than limiting our guest list to people who are clones of ourselves, people with whom we’re comfortable, who don’t threaten or challenge us, invite instead those who are different, people who make us uncomfortable, but whose difference from us may bring with it a blessing.  This is what I think is so significant about our Thanksgiving Day dinner.  We open our door, our hearts and our table expecting nothing in return.  The blessing of being in a position to share is its own reward.

Jesus not only teaches us this the lesson of stretching our comfort zone, he demonstrates it. His entire life, his public ministry, the passion and resurrection, is full of one episode after another of not remaining in a comfort zone.  Repeatedly Jesus takes the low seat and invites unlikely types to be his guests.

Finally he takes the worst seat of all––on the cross––and those who come to his banquet make it through the door (recall last Sunday’s Gospel)  because they claim no merit of their own. Finally he leaves the comfort zone of earth and expands his comfort zone forever, everywhere and with everyone – there are no strangers – all are welcome!

~Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB, Prioress
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Filed Under: Blog, Homily Tagged With: advice, comfort zone, equality, Gospel, high seats, Jesus, low seats, welcome

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