Every Jew in Jesus’ day knew these words: “…ye have heard that it has been said by them of old time, you shalt not forswear thyself…” We call it perjury – a willful act of swearing a false oath or of falsifying the truth. Can people take me at my word? If You can answer in the affirmative. Then folks know that your ‘Yes’ means ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ means ‘No.’ Or, as Pilate once said -and someone around here says – “What I have spoken, I have spoken.”
With a vow what we say is what we mean. If we do not mean it, if we hold on to “except when” or “unless” or “until it’s not working or it doesn’t fulfill me – then I’m out of here’ – that’s perjury, a false oath. You see, a vow doesn’t need an oath. Jesus made it clear that our yes is enough; we vow with “no strings attached.” As vowed Benedictines what do we do to insure we are truly committed to a perpetual pursuit of growth in the monastic way of life? What do we do to expand our knowledge and familiarity with the Rule of Benedict? How deeply do we delve into Scripture and aim to deepen a new, fuller meaning of God’s Word? What do I hear today that somehow I never heard before?
What do we do to expand our understanding and application of our vow of obedience? What does obedience mean to me now? In a spirit of mutual obedience do we conscientiously seek input from a superior and spiritual elder? Suppose what is asked of me is not what I had in mind? Do I give it serious consideration or was my asking simply pro forma? Do I give a half-hearted acquiescence to a superior’s request treating it merely as a suggestion or do I view it as a call of the Spirit?
What if the group makes a decision I don’t like? Do I have any obligation to comply it if I voted against it? What about annoying behaviors – not immoral actions, just a behavior I know grates on another’s nerves? Here’s the authentic test question: how closely does my behavior mirror Benedict’s “deference to one another?”
To keep our “yes” a “yes” takes much prayer, honest introspection, willingness to open our hearts to new meanings and a spirit of grounded integrity. Otherwise, our vows are not worth the piece of paper they are written on.
This is where our vow of stability comes into play. With our vow we are publicly professing responsibility to work on fidelity to our covenant with God and our commitment to one another. That takes an awareness of what is going on inside of ourselves, and a responsibility for how we might be contributing to the building up of, or destruction of a bond into which we’ve entered. Remember: if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
In this Gospel reading Jesus is talking about a lifetime pursuit in which our integrity isn’t just a matter of external conformity, but an internal way of life. There’s that sticky vow of conversion of life. Our words should simply be our bond. If you sometimes say yes with your lips when your heart is thinking NO WAY! People will pick up on that. When in my heart I say NO, but my lips said yes…that’s deceit, it’s a lie. My tongue speaks what my heart isn’t feeling. I’m lying to myself and to others. If I solemnly declare, “I promise I’m telling you the truth,” does that mean that sometimes I’m not telling the truth?
Ultimately our relationships with people are inseparable from our relationship to God; and it is the love of God that binds us. It is God’s love that teaches us about relatedness, about truth, about personal integrity. Heed Jesus’ words: Let your YES be YES and your NO be NO!
~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB
Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!
First Reading: Sirach 15:15-20 Second Reading: 1 Corinthians 2:6-10
Gospel: Matthew 5:17-37
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