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forgiveness

Forgiveness is always a choice

September 18, 2023 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

In this Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, the disciple Peter comes to Jesus asking a question that’s troubling him. “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  Part of the Rabbinical teaching was that people should forgive those who offended them three times.  So, Peter, was trying to be more generous than the Rabbis.  Maybe trying to impress Jesus by suggesting seven times which was considered a perfect number.

Jesus’ response (seventy times seven) surprises Peter.   Seventy times seven!  Seventy times the perfect number is an endless number of times.  We should forgive with sincerity, no matter how many times someone asks.  True forgiveness doesn’t keep records.  True forgiveness does not say: “Sure, I’ll forgive you, but I’ll never forget this!”  Or, “Yes, I can forgive you this time but this is the last time.”

The servant in Jesus’ story seemed so sincere when he begged for mercy, a little time to repay his loan, that the king gave him more than he requested.  He erased the man’s whole debt. And what did the servant do?  He went out, found one of his co-workers who owed him money, laid into him and began to choke him.  When his co-worker begged for leniency, a little time for repayment, the unforgiving servant refused the gift he had just be granted.

When the king heard this, you can imagine his reaction.  He became furious, called the unforgiving servant in, and turned him over to the jailers to be tortured until he paid back all he owed.  One wonders how being thrown into prison enables one to pay back a debt.  It’s next to impossible unless the person sells off everything they own, or if their relatives and friends set up a “Go Fund” on Facebook.   Jesus’ point is that forgiveness is not about quantity.  The lesson is clear.  If we hoard God’s mercy for ourselves while showing no mercy to others, we risk forfeiting the effects of God’s mercy in our own lives.

Forgiveness is always a choice.   When we realize how much God has forgiven us, over and over without keeping a record, shouldn’t that realization alone produce in us a generous spirit of empathy and compassion toward others?   Twenty-four hours a day, day in and day out, we hear and see evidence of acts of domestic and national terrorism and violence as well as devastation wrought by natural disasters.  We see how violence begets violence, and hate begets hate.  This practice of an “eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” only results in everyone ending up blind and toothless.

We can each begin where we are, in our little world, our family, our community, our friends.  We can make a start with the first step Jesus gave us. GO!  Don’t wait for the other to make an approach.  Jesus assures us if we follow this first directive Jesus gave us, we’ll come to be like the child who was saying her bedtime prayers. As she went down the list of family members, asking God to bless them one-by-one, she omitted her sister’s name. Her mother injected:  “Why didn’t you pray for Susie?” She looked up but paused.  What didn’t her mother understand?  “I’m not going to ask God to bless Susie because she broke my doll’s arm.”  “But,” her mother said, “Don’t you remember Jesus said to forgive your enemies?” “That’s the trouble,” the child said with a sob.   “Susie isn’t my enemy.  She’s my sister.”

 

~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB

 

 

 

Readings:  Sirach 27:30-28:9       Romans 14:7-9
Gospel:   Matthew 18:21-35
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Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Homily Tagged With: forgive, forgiveness, forgiveness is always a choice, God, Jesus, King, Peter, seven, seventy

Foregiveness

May 7, 2019 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

PRAYER: “I know that God won’t give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  (Saint Teresa of Calcutta)

 

This past Thursday our nation celebrated the National Day of Prayer.  The Bill for the observance was initiated by Conrad Hilton, (founder of Hilton hotels) and was signed into law in April 1952 by President Truman.  Here’s an interest note: the president of the U.S. is required by law to sign a proclamation each year, encouraging all Americans to pray on the first Thursday in May.

Thinking about “prayer” – (but not directly connecting it to the Gospel just read) I find it curious that the disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray “just as John taught his disciples.”  They wanted the words, didn’t they, for certainly Jesus had given them an example of prayer.  He had modeled time alone, told them to “go to your room and pray,” raised his eyes, hands and voice in intercessory prayer before miraculous healings.  But they, like we, wanted “the words to say.”  We forget sometimes that when we descend into our hearts in silent waiting that it is there we meet the Spirit who is already praying within us.

We look for “words,” don’t we … in a prayer book, on a holy card, in the life of a saint ….  We look for a guide, a director, a mentor.  I don’t mean to belittle the worthwhile role these companions play in our lives which is often critical to our spiritual growth and our salvation.  We just need to keep in mind, and really believe, the tremendous role that Scripture plays in our lives.  Jesus promised: “The Spirit of Truth will show you all things.”  St. Paul reminds us: “If you do these things you can be saved: be joyful at all times, pray without ceasing and give thanks for all things.”

Let’s look for a few minutes at the shortened version of what we call the “Lord’s Prayer.”  In it we pray “give us each day” EACH DAY – not a train load of blessings to last us all year – just today’s help, Lord, that’s all I am asking … not even tomorrow’s help … just get me through today – I trust you will be there tomorrow – even when I feel like Mother Teresa once prayed: “I KNOW GOD WON’T GIVE ME ANYTHING I CAN’T HANDLE …  I JUST WISH HE DIDN’T TRUST ME SO MUCH.”

In Luke’s version of the Lord’s Prayer, have you noticed the difference in the phrase regarding forgiveness?  We pray, “forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us.”  A strong, firm statement of my willingness to forgive everyone.  In the traditional version we pray: forgive us our debts, or trespasses, as we forgive our debtors…”  It sounds as if God’s forgiveness to me is measured by my willingness to forgive others.

I like Luke’s version even while I feel it is a greater challenge.  I commit, I promise: I will forgive EVERYONE who is in debt to me.  No willy-nilly “this one I forgive but not that one, at least not today.”  When we pray Luke’s words we vow “I forgive EVERYONE.”  Think of that the next time you pray the Our Father … at Mass or in private prayer, you are agreeing to forgive EVERYONE.  What a huge and freeing commitment.

And we promise to do it day after day after day.  Repetitious practice isn’t just what we may have told our mothers seemed “stupid” and useless. Things like making the bed that we are only going to rumple up in a few hours or doing the dishes after every meal instead of collecting them until the cupboard is bare or cleaning the toilet that someone is going to mess up the minute I leave the bathroom.  Repetition perfects, and makes permanent skill in music, in handwriting, in the acquisition of good, or bad habits.  And, in the repetition of daily chores (even the tasks only God sees) there is a meaningful expression of hospitality to myself and my companions.  In the repetition of the Psalms, of favorite prayers, and liturgical actions there is a meaningful acknowledgment of our creaturely participation in God’s creative act, day after day, after day.

So, we pray day after day for vocations, for peace, for relief from suffering and war and for a forgiving heart.  Through our community and personal prayer we feed not only our own spirits, but we are, so to speak, attached by a spiritual cord to everyone we have ever come into contact with. We feed ourselves spiritually, and we also nourish all those contacts through our prayers.  Our prayer is universal.  We forgive everyone who is in debt to us.   Note, in Luke’s memory Jesus did not say “everyone to whom we owe a debt” … rather those who are in debt to us.  Who would that be?  And, why would someone be in debt to me?

~Reflection by Sister Roberta Bailey, OSB, Prioress

 

First reading Acts 5:27-32, 40b-41 Second Reading Revelation 5:11-14
Gospel John 21:1-14
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Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Homily Tagged With: forgiveness, God, Gospel, Jesus, Lord's prayer, Mother Teresa, Prayer

The Prodigal Son

March 8, 2016 by Holy Name Monastery Leave a Comment

prodigalIf you were around before Vatican II for long Latin choir rehearsals, you may recall the melody of the antiphon that announced the Fourth Sunday of Lent.  It’s one of those that stays with you … (sing) Laetare translates from Latin to English “Rejoice”.   This is also known as “Refreshment Sunday” – a day when the austerity of Lent is relaxed a little, and the violet vestments of Lent can be replaced with rose-colored ones.   A special kind of fruit cake was often served on this Sunday modestly breaking the Lenten Fast.

According to another old tradition, although it probably is not on anyone’s list of approved feast days, is “Laugher Sunday” or “Holy Humor Sunday” – a day celebrating the big joke that God pulled on Satan.  Thus the name: God’s Joke or the Easter Laugh – a day to lighten up, relax, and recall the joy and the goodness of the Lord.  (We anticipated it a bit with our Hoedown!)  In honor of Laughter Sunday, here’s one to tickle your funny bone.    During a lesson on Easter, a religious education teacher asked the class, “What did Jesus do on this day?  Getting no response, she prompted: It begins with R. “I know!” blurted out a child: “Recycle.”

But on a more serious bent … The context of today’s Gospel is not to be made light of.  Sinners and social outcasts were “all seeking the company of Jesus to hear what he had to say”. The Pharisees and Scribes, who were the “good and religious” people, were shocked and disturbed. “This man welcomes sinners and [even worse] eats with them.” By their standards, a “good” person avoids “bad company”. To be quite honest, don’t we think the same? If so, then we are not thinking like Jesus.

We typically title this Gospel story the “Prodigal Son” but, in fact, the emphasis is less on the son than on the father, who clearly represents God and Jesus.

No one can deny the appalling behavior of the younger son in this Gospel. He took all that his father generously gave to him as his inheritance and used it in leading a life of total debauchery and self-centered indulgence. Eventually, he had nothing and was reduced to living with pigs, something utterly abhorrent to the Jewish mind, and even sharing their slops, something even we would find appalling. “Served him right,” might be the reaction of many, especially the good and morally respectable.

This, however, is not the reaction of the father, who has only one thought in his mind – how to get his son to come back to where he belongs. The father does not say: “This son has seriously offended me and brought disgrace on our family. He better not come crawling back here.  I disown him!”  Instead he says: “My son went away, is lost and I want so much to have him back.” He stands in the doorway of his house many long hours, watching, waiting, longing … His love for his wayward son has not changed one iota.

There is no force involved. The police are not sent out. There is not an “Amber” alert. Servants are not instructed to haul him back. No, the father waits. It is up to the son himself to make the crucial decision: does he want to be with his father or not?

Eventually he “came to his senses”, that is, he realized the wrongness of what he had done. He became aware of just how good his father had been. The process of repentance had begun. He felt deeply ashamed of his behavior and then, most significant of all, he turned around to make his way back to his father.

The father, for his part, filled with compassion for his son’s experiences, runs out to meet him, embraces him and brushes aside the carefully prepared speech the son had prepared. If the son had known his father better, he would have realized that such a speech was unnecessary. Immediately, orders are given to bring the very best things in the house and a banquet is laid out.   This is forgiveness on the part of both the father and the son – a return to where each ought to be in relationship to the other.

This is where the elder son comes in. He simply cannot understand what is happening. “It’s just not fair!” How many times have we heard this spoken or, be truthful, felt in our hearts?  “It’s not fair, just because she’s the baby; you didn’t let me stay out that late when I was her age!”  And the litany grows.  We challenge our parents and one another’s generosity, operating from the perspective of limited resources. If she gets it, perhaps there won’t be enough for me.

Jesus wants his hearers (us) to understand that this is not how it is with God’s mercy, love and forgiveness. God offers love to all of us in abundance. The forgiveness of the father in the parable is an image of God’s love for us: generosity beyond measure!

By our standards, even God is unjust.  In fact, he is corrupted by love! That’s fortunate for us!  Supposing we went to confession one day and the priest said, “Sorry, that’s it. No more forgiveness, no more reconciliation. You’ve used up your quota. Too bad! ” Of course, it’s not like that.  Thankfully there is no limit to God’s forgiveness, mercy and love.  God has a deep desire to forgive – to be totally reconciled with us when we’ve severed the bond of relationship.  There is always a place in God’s company for us.  The question is: Do you truly believe that God acts this way towards us?  Can we humbly accept divine mercy without jealousy, knowing that God’s love for another does not diminish the love shown and showered upon us?

4th sunday web

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Filed Under: Blog, Homily Tagged With: Easter, forgiveness, God, Jesus, Lent, love, mercy, Prodigal son

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